When I blog I am sharing a part of me to the world, a piece of my private life for the entire world to observe. And when people read, they judge. That’s just the facts of life. But do you know what – it’s okay, because I can’t stop being a light due to someone else being an arbitrator. I nearly let it happen and for that I am ashamed. But I am going to stand up and say – world this is me and I am the happiest girl on the globe. I want to encourage and inspire others to look for the happiness exactly where they are.
The Christian life is supposed to be a life of freedom, not of personal constraints. It saddens me more than you know when I see so many sad Christians living life in bondage of trying to be perfect. The perfect Christian, perfect daughter, perfect son, perfect example… friends we are NOT perfect, we can’t be!!! But we know someone who IS!! So embrace him, love him and laugh because he made you for a reason!
I wrote this essay for school last week. After I shared it with some friends of mine and it encouraged them so much, I felt I needed to share it with you. Enjoy..and remember GOD loves you just the way you are!!!
Choosing Happiness
The journey of life sometimes requires pain to fully enjoy the rewards. Once you go through challenging times, the sun shines brighter, the sky will seem a deeper blue, and laughter chimes in the wind. I now understand, just as another wise man once said “Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.” (Hills) No matter where life takes a person the journey brings laughter, joy and happiness within their grasps if they look for it. The secret to this lies within the person, and the decision that person chooses to make in their race of life. I want to share with you how I learned this valuable life lesson.
At the start of this year I remember wishing my life would change. I felt my life very monotonous and felt unhappy with myself and the direction my life was taking. I kept trying to live a perfect Christian life, without any mistakes and no regrets. I continuously analyzed every new opportunity trying to see if the end results were acceptable in my predestined life. I became conscious of the fact happiness somehow was not a part of my daily living. I bottled the real me up, setting my desires and personality on a shelf and attempting to take on qualities of the ideal person I sought to develop myself into. I remember realizing one day that I had not laughed in days. I found myself asking God “why this, why that, why now, why here.” It became a Saharan like time for my personal well being. Little did I know what the year 2008 entailed. My journey to contentment began and my outlook on life forever altered for the good.
January 31, 2008 changed me forever. I thought it just another day of traveling and helping my dad in the family business, but its effects continue to impact my life even today. My brother, R A, and I were on our way to Fort Worth, Texas, to the Stock Show to sell twenty heifers for the ranch. While traveling down highway 287 near Estelline, Texas, we hit black ice and flipped a mega cab dodge pickup. Only by the grace of God, we ended up hanging upside down in our seat belts in the totaled pickup. I dreamed about the accident for days and feared riding as a passenger in a vehicle for months. Only to add to the sadness and the realization that life changes in an instant, I learned that my Government teacher, Mr. Moses, died that same day. I never felt as stunned in my life as the day of his memorial service. Consciously I became aware on that Thursday; I had lived, and he had died. God spared my brother and me. During the entire service I kept asking why? “Why me God? What do you want me to learn from this? Why this?”
My spring seemed to stretch on forever. I traveled weekly to the chiropractor for relief from the physical pain caused by the wreck. While I dealt with the emotional turmoil of coming to grips with the accident I fought depression and anguish. Wondering what I needed to learn from all of this I kept striving my best to excel at school and maintain my 4.0 grade average. I still felt dazed, however at the same time I began to feel a new zeal for life.
For the first time I took a good hard look at my life and what all God gave to me and I realized what a fool I had been! All the time of striving for perfection, I had missed out on being me! God had made me for a reason just the way I was – the unique individual. I cheated God and myself out of life journey full of happiness by trying to act like someone else. Upon personally coming to grips with this fact, I experienced a freedom I never knew existed; I only get one life to live and the choice of how I live resides solely in my control.
I experienced the special freedom of being exactly me, Amy Elizabeth Brown. With no guarantee for tomorrow, I learned to find contentment in everyday. I stopped trying to impress others by being perfect and chose instead to impress the Lord by being the girl He created. I embraced myself, all my imperfections and I became proud of who He created, the daughter of the Lord. I stopped trying to hide my embarrassing moments. Instead I let everyone else know about them and we now all laugh together. I started treasuring my family each and everyone, thinking the Lord for the opportunity of knowing them; because there is no guarantee I will see them tomorrow. Each new day became a gift from the Lord, a treasure worth remembering in my journey of life.
Every person alive walks down their journey of life, yet some seem to enjoy theirs more than others. I decided to choose happiness. I decided to choose contentment no matter the circumstances, because trying to live perfectly without regrets kept me from living life happily. I love who God created in me. I am so thankful that God used the wreck to make me realize that there is no excuse for not loving the true me! I now cherish every moment and laughter’s truly the best medicine for a perfect day!
